


Lost, Forgotten, Broken (These Memories of Mine)

by Saral_Hylor



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Past Cougar/Jake, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saral_Hylor/pseuds/Saral_Hylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Losers - Jensen - 'sorry, I don't remember you, have we met before?' (bonus if he's saying that to Cougar)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost, Forgotten, Broken (These Memories of Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a part of a bigger story. There are already scenes and story lines forming in my head, but it'll be put on the back-burner for a while, got too many other fics on the go right now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt from fic_promptly by jujitsuelf.

It had been one year, four months, two weeks and five days since Jensen disappeared from the hospital and out of the Losers’ lives.

 

Cougar almost didn’t recognise him he looked so different, thinner, more tired, less alive. It wasn’t just the loss of muscle, the gaunter look about his face; it was the lack of perpetual grin. The light was completely gone from his eyes. Everything was duller, even the clothes; ragged, dirty jeans with torn knees, boots scuffed, grey hoodie too large. It was the glasses that made Cougar pause and look twice.

 

The glasses and his ever present need to find Jensen, the way he looked at every tall male two or three times, studying the eyes, to see if it was his missing friend.

 

It was in Brooklyn that he found him, standing in line trying to get into a men’s shelter. He almost walked straight past him, so used to scanning lines, faces without hope, that he worried he might have been growing complacent. But then, further down the line, a guy lifted his head, glasses reflecting light from the nearby window, and he just knew that it was Jensen.

 

“Jake?” The name burst from his lips without warning, his feet carrying him towards the guy before he could stop himself.

 

The guy didn’t look at him until Cougar grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie, and then it was only to try and pull away. “No cutting in line, sorry.”

 

Cougar shook his head, reaching back out to snag the guy’s wrist. He tried to pull back again, eyes growing fearful behind his glasses. “What do you want?”

 

“Jake.” Cougar tried again, tightening his grip on the other man’s wrist. It had to be Jensen. It was Jake’s eyes staring back at him, even though the expression in them was completely foreign.  _You know me. Jake, you know who I am. You love me. You said it once before._

 

“Think you got the wrong person. My name is Ben.”  _Ben_  finally pulled free of Cougar’s grip, stepping back.

 

“It’s me, Cougar.” He didn’t think that it would achieve anything, there was the mantra of  _remember me, please remember me_  going over and over in his head, buy he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

 

Ben shook his head slowly, a slight frown forming. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember you. Have we actually met before?”

 

_Yes. We were team mates. Friends. Lovers._  But there was no recognition there. Nothing. “In another life.”

 

He couldn’t manage more than that. Over a year of searching, and it was all for nothing, because Jake didn’t even recognise him. Cougar knew he just had to walk away. It was getting late, and it probably wasn’t the best time to try and push Ben back into being Jake. He could come back in the morning, be there before the doors opened, and he could catch Jake then. He’d come back with all the evidence he needed, to try and show Ben that he really was Jake. It was so hard to think of him by another name.

 

“Hey.”

 

Cougar turned back, Ben stood there, giving him a bitter kind of smile, that didn’t really reach his eyes, but seemed to be the most genuine he could manage.

 

“I guess you’re kind of new to all this. So I’ll let you come in with me, this one time. But tomorrow, you just got to get here earlier, and get in line like the rest of us.” Ben stepped back slightly, making room between himself and the person in front. “But, if you can, you owe me a coffee in the morning.”

 

“Thank you.” Cougar murmured, and moved back towards Ben, settling into the line in front of him. He tried not to think of his much more comfortable and safer hotel room. He tried not to think about how many coffees he’d bought Jake over the years. He tried not to think about how obviously the person behind him was not Jake, and yet how sure he was that Jake and Ben were one in the same.

 

All he could think about was surviving the night, and making sure that he could get Jake back.

 


End file.
